Vol. 02, Chapter 01
Photography: @karalaynebeckerphotography
Holy shit guys. What a year, right? As I take my first steps back into the blogging world in almost 5 months I am feeling all of the emotions. I’m over the moon to catch up on what you all have been up to. I am excited to continue the fostering of important relationships & partnerships. I am nervous and scared to share my life online again. But mostly, I’m at a loss for words on where to even start…
Let’s go back a few years.
In 2015 my entrepreneurial, fun-loving lifestyle flipped a switch. The businesses I was drafting in my down time were catching wind. This wasn't little kid shit anymore. I started making legitimate business moves. My LLCs were crafting business deals with local companies, I was signing contracts, filing business taxes and deciding if I was going to go to college or if I was going to take this and run. I had no idea what I was doing…but I was doing it?!
The following 5 years would be such a roller coaster. Years filled with so much work, so many professional connections, so much uncertainty, but so much excitement! I went to school for a semester, suddenly I was a creative consultant turned blogger. I started hiring a team, getting amazing press opportunities, and working with my absolute dream brands. But then, one day it hit me...
I wan’t happy. I wasn’t growing into the person I wanted to be. I was placing so much of my own self-worth and value in an app on my phone. I felt like I had been going for so long that I didn’t even know what I was going for anymore. My big vision and goals were blurred by the grind.
I tried my best to show up online through all of the twists and turns, but eventually I crumbled. I logged out of my account for the first time ever and hid away, and I’m being 100% honest, I didn’t even have a plan on when I would be back. I had a full-time job and I knew I had to take the time to put myself first, to sit back and ask “What do you truly want out of this life?”, “What do you feel is holding you back?” and “Where is this going next?”
...
Social
In a world where there wasn’t much socialization going on, it was such an odd time to be away from my main social media presence. Coming out of a breakup, not being connected to the people I had been for so long online, and being in quarantine — it all hit home pretty hard. During this time I decided to take the bull by the horns. I rekindled some of my most precious friendships, may have hopped on a few dating apps (yes, yes, I know...story for another time, little ones), and poured into my work at Trades of Hope. I haven’t always been the most social person. My work always found it’s way to top priority in my life. So when I was crafting my vision board for 2020 — that was the first thing I pasted on it. Friendships. New Relationships. Getting Out. Being Social. Less Work. More Fun.
Health
One of the hardest battles I went through in my time away was with my health. Prior to my abrupt departure, I had touched slightly on starting up with a team at Parsley Health, which I've loved, but I had no idea how hard it would get. The concept behind starting this journey was to find the root causes for my autoimmune conditions. I have suffered from bad allergies and psoriasis/eczema for most of my life. I was tired of treating things topically and only getting short term positive results. I wanted to know where my body was lacking and what it needed to be healthy.
In all of my 10 years of dealing with these issues I found myself completely paralyzed. My body freaked out as I tried new supplements and creams. There was a good month period where I did nothing but get on the computer for work, eat and sleep. I wouldn’t go outside with fear that pollen would make my bodies fight that much harder, I ate the most simple diet because I was in horrid pain when I was digesting food, and ended every night crying myself to sleep because I had no idea what was going on. I was broken out in psoriasis/eczema the worst I’ve ever seen: my entire face, all around my neck onto my chest — I could only wear certain clothes, and had to have my hair up and no makeup on at all times.
That whole experience will truly go down as one of the hardest things I have ever been through. It taught me some serious lessons about my body, health, and mindset. I know everything happens for a reason and I am such a stronger person now — but fuck that was something else.
Mindset
With so much changes happening in such a short amount of time, I found myself relying heavily on daily mindset practices. I am doing therapy every few weeks (still recommend..you can read my recent therapy blog post: 7 Hard Lessons in 7 Months of Therapy), but I decided to take it a step further. Each morning I start my day with a 10-minute meditation. This helps me to get fully centered and present before I dive into the world. Recently I’ve also prioritized getting outside at least once per day: whether I go work from a park, walk a couple miles, or get some sun on my face. I also started reading a book that has been slowly changing my entire perspective on the power of our minds…Infinite Possibilities. It is so deep and intense, most nights I can only ready 10 pages at a time. While I don’t want to speak for the book itself, it has made me start integrating a visualization exercise each day for manifestation, and drastically changed my overall outlook on how we as humans can react to the world going on around us.
Moving?!
This is probably one of the most exciting things I couldn’t wait to share with you all! One of the top questions asked on my Instagram story the last 2 years has always been “When do you plan on getting your own place?!". I am so thankful for the support of my parents and family the last 5 years, I would not have been able to make any of this possible without them. But, I am also excited to share that I am getting my first apartment in November! There are so many fun things to accompany this that I will be sharing soon..but stay tuned for the collaboration project with my good friend, and amazing Interior Designer, Emilee Winland.
Alright, what’s next?
Well, here we are. The bulk of what went down the last few months I just spilled onto this post. But, what am I going to be doing now?!
I am diving deep into Fall 2020 fashion. The bulk of the content that I will be publishing on my social media platforms will be based around fashion. I am working with 2 amazing photographers to cultivate really fun, editorial-styled photography. I wanted to be able to sit here and tell you I will be touching on all of my huge passions as of late: career, confidence, mindset, and the fair-trade industry. But, if I want to be able to show up consistently, I know that I have to take this one step at a time. This is the first time I am coming into this industry with a full-time job, on the brink of establishing a new creative team, so still mainly solo, and in such a transformative, wild time in my life.
For those of you that have been following me for years, thank you. For those that are new, thank you & welcome! At the end of the day I would not be here, or able to show up online without each and every one of you. You all have held me up through some of the hardest, darkest times in my life. You’ve helped me grow, push the limits on my creativity, and allowed me to share every version of myself these last few years. The skin girl, the young entrepreneur, the photographer, the branding mentor, the fashion blogger, and the endless creator. I don’t know what all lies ahead, but one thing I do know is — I’m thankful to have you all along for the ride.
Let’s do this. Vol. 02, Chapter 01.
“And so, I am endlessly creating myself”